Remember this is a little piece of my life. Names have obviously been changed as have some events. It’s just easier on me that way.
“I look ridiculous.” I said, looking at myself in the mirror.
“You look beautiful.” Declan told me.
I shook my head, “I look depressed.” I straightened out my black dress and finished pinning my hair up in a bun.
“We’re all depressed.” He told me.
I nodded, “yeah, and we all look it.” I said, glancing over at him in his black dress pants and matching shirt.
He placed a hand on my shoulder, “you can do this.”
“I don’t think I can.” I said.
“I know you can.” He told me.
I shook my head, “I don’t want to.”
“Because. It’s so final,” I said, turning to face him, “this just proves he really is never coming back.”
“You don’t want closure?” He asked.
I shook my head, “it’s not that,” I told him, “I don’t wanna say goodbye.”
I could see the tears in his eyes, “you shouldn’t have to say goodbye.”
“But, I have to,” I said, “because some drunk low-life killed him,” I cried, “because some idiot drove drunk we all have to suffer!” I looked at Declan who now had tears rolling down his face, “it wasn’t supposed to be like this. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. Not like this. Not now.” I wept.
Without hesitating, Declan threw his arms around me, “I only ever wanted you and Landon to be happy, Noelle,” he told me, “he was my brother and I know he was at his happiest when he was with you.”
I cried openly for a few moments before he spoke again, “Landon would only want you to be happy.”
“I could only ever be happy with him Declan.”
He nodded, “but someone will come along who makes you just as happy,” he told me, “someone just like Landon.”
I stopped him, “I don’t want someone like Landon, I want Landon.”
“I know you do.” He told me.
I sniffled, “can we just get this over with?”
He nodded, stepping back, he wiped his cheeks and took my hands in his where he kissed them, “lets go,” he said, “and remember, I’m right here next to you.”